|Truth: Heaven's Integrity
April 20, 2000
Last night the moon rendered an image of my mystery
Soft and dainty were its wings as I noted
A reflection so grim that I shuddered in disgust
But what's a picture regardless that it should change me? Doesn't the most beautiful girl in presentation remain a sight to marvel at in person? Thus I pondered on.
Red rose-stained sands and battered souls
But what if it had been I who had committed such a foul deed?
Should I come face to face with heaven's integrity or should I condemn myself into living in a marsh of madness for eternity?
Does a sinner not confess to his wrongdoings after he has done them? And what is a sinner if he does not commit sin but the heart of all that which is beautiful?
This is not how I wanted things to end--mercilessly and without compassion. Dreams of golden skies and bright blue oceans called out to me as I slept that night on the sand under the dark blue sky.
But as a madman instills in his victims, I have executed equivalence as far as myself comes.
As this mirror here depicts the heart of my life I watch carefully not to deceive my comprehension.
My veins protrude making me seem ghastly ill.
The tales of boy struggling to become man; told by my weary eyes.
My failure shown by tears streaming down to a point of non-existence only to be engulfed by my lies
These lies, these lies are those who feed me my life, my reality.
And what's a reality when the bees don't buzz, the birds don't sing, and the trees don't bustle but a mind-driven prison? Torn between two worlds, heaven's integrity is a life so sweet that I can only see it through steel bars. So close yet in my current state so far.
Perhaps I don't wish to dream any longer; but the risk, oh the risk.
Like the clock inside me deceit moves the hands.
As I peer out my window, what do I see but a paradigm of myself walking freely among a crowd? Perhaps I wish to be him. Perhaps I wish to be like myself--A true representation. Heaven's integrity.